I had been attending yoga classes and I loved the ‘buzz’ that I felt as I walked out each week, I wanted more, and so I enrolled in my first yoga teacher training course. I was filled with both excitement and anxiety, doubting my ability one moment, ready to challenge myself the next, little did I know I was about to embark on an intense personal journey.
I discovered that yoga is so much more than movement, I found out that it’s a way for me to look at the world and then choose how I want to live in it. The teacher training helped me to see how every self-sabotaging thought that plagued me, impacted on my experience of myself. When my internal voice chastised and criticised, my self-worth plummeted. The Teacher Training gave me techniques to undo what I had habitually done, and what I began to realise was that underneath all the self-doubt, was a me I could love.
Yoga reveals what is already there, and for me I was used to running away, from relationships and people. There was always a lot of internal dialogue in my mind, I could be a kind and fun loving person but underneath it all there was a sadness, there was a longing and I didn’t know how to fill this emptiness – I could distract it with things and people for a while but when the novelty of the new ‘toy’ wore off the longing remained.
The Teacher Training course placed me gently into a community of likeminded people, we breathed, laughed and cried together and became a great source of support for each other. Each week the techniques we practiced stripped off patterns that were causing our suffering and we became more and more content with ourselves. There is a saying that to live a full and content life die daily, and we found ourselves dying over and over again and being reborn softer, kinder, gentler, and more at ease within ourselves and the people around us.
20 years on the transformation continues. I get up every single day to work on myself, sitting in silence, moving my body in harmony with my muscles and joints, eating nutritious food and I now have a kind inner voice gently guiding me to more clarity and contentment.
I am forever grateful to the many teachers who have guided me on the greatest ride of my life.